Pivotal Point

Sometimes it takes finding out who you’re NOT, to actually discover who you really are. I’ve talked about it before…the confusing time in your 20’s when you’re not quite sure who you are supposed to be. You start looking for a deeper purpose in life. You start questioning everything you’ve done up to this point, and wondering – “Am I on the right track?”….Maybe wishing you could rewind the clock 10 years and have a “do-over”. You’ve tried all sorts of different things by this point – failed with some, succeeded at others. You’ve learned what type of people you really want to surround yourself with. You may have done some filtering out of the negative leeches you used to refer to as friends. Who needs to surround themselves with people who suck the life out of them, anyway? No thanks! You might have discovered that you’re much stronger than you ever thought you could be. You also may have gained a sense of self-awareness and confidence that the younger version of yourself couldn’t harness. I’m sure you’ve loved, experienced a loss of some sort, and learned imperative coping skills to help get you through in this crazy world.

Right now is such a pivotal point in your life. If you’re reading this – you’re probably in your mid to late 20’s…maybe early 30’s…maybe even beyond. But this message applies to all. There is a pivotal point in people’s lives that they hit. Some hit this point in their 20’s…others may not reach this point until their 60’s. That is ok! This is the point where they have to make a choice and decide once and for all what they stand for. It’s not so much about what kind of person they want to portray to the public anymore…it’s more about what they can be to the people they love. No gimmicks, no façade…just the true-to-the-core YOU. This is a big moment…and it’s not a stand-alone event, either. It’s an ongoing process. We’re ever evolving and learning who we can be every day. We’re given challenges, temptations, and CHANCES everyday to make the right decisions and grow. Learning what you can be to other people is the point in life which will begin to carve out your character – what you’re remembered for. People may or may not remember your awesome abs or amazing figure. They’re going to remember how you treated them, how you treated others, and more importantly – how you treated yourself. THIS is your character.

There is a big drive in public forums right now on Fitness. It’s everywhere! Remember the old obsession with being skinny? Well- now it’s an obsession with being fit (even better!). Trying to be skinny was exhausting! 🙂 Everyone is striving to be the best they can be…show the world how much work they’re putting in at the gym, etc. This is great – we are testing our limits, getting stronger, and building sexy, strong bodies that we’re damn proud of! But, we can’t forget to focus on shaping our character as much as we might focus on shaping our physique. This kind of focus brings happiness and fulfillment….more so than any barbell or machine at the gym can. In fact – I think these different areas of focus work best in tandem.

I like to work on myself in 3 areas to make sure that I am the best person I can be to the people I love. 1) Mind; 2) Body; 3) Soul. These are the 3 areas that need to be in balance in order for me to be happy and love myself – which in turn, allows me to love others. My mind – I am always learning to keep my mind strong. I am always searching out new hobbies and finding things that I know virtually nothing about – in hopes of educating myself on something new. I love it. My body – I am constantly challenging myself in the gym, everyday. I want to be better than I was yesterday, and as long as I’m making progress when I measure my results against the girl I was yesterday – then I’m good! The last area is one I struggle with. My soul…finding my faith and having hope have not been my strongest area. I try to stay positive and surround myself with the right people to keep me in a good place. I’m doing ok – but I know I haven’t reached my full potential here. That is ok, too! It just gives me something to work on – and we all know – this girl loves a good challenge!

So – I will leave you with this… in your pursuit of whatever you have identified as your passion in life – don’t forget to remind yourself to find that balance between who you are now and who you wish to be in the future. It’s ok to feel a little “lost” at this time in your life…at ANY time in your life – for that matter. Think of it as an opportunity to dig a little deeper within yourself, make some changes, and carve out your path to success and happiness. Sometimes this requires a slight modification to your plan (which we all know doesn’t matter what YOU have planned, anyway…because ultimately your life plan lies in someone else’s hands upstairs).

Most importantly, ask yourself – “Am I being the best I can be to myself?” Because that is truly the only way that allows you to be the best person to the people you love and care the most about. This is what defines your character and that is what you will be remembered for….how you treat yourself…and in turn – how you treat others.

*Stay Beautiful*


3 thoughts on “Pivotal Point

  1. You write so well, Ashlee. I am so proud to call you my friend. I was thinking about how we used to be so silly and laugh and virtually nothing! (“schoooooomtimesss”) ha! I still do that.

    That first paragraph, i was like yes! yes… yes! omg yes! it’s my life you’re talking about.

    Thank you for putting yourself out there, it’s not easy and I’m happy you did.


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