You are driven, ambitious, organized, caring, truthful, impatient, ALWAYS willing to help and take on more than you can handle, obsessive, proactive, and to the point. You are a “Type A” personality. Type A’s are much more rigid than their Type B and C counterparts. Type B personalities tend to be more laid back; not lazy – just in balance. Type C’s are the slackers!
Most of the women I know and associate with are Type A’s, like myself. We are over-achievers, hard working, and professional multi-taskers. We push ourselves beyond our limits usually, but always succeed. This is great! However, the problem with Type A’s is that we tend to be overly competitive and critical of ourselves. We set big goals for ourselves, knowing that we will stop at nothing to achieve them. But, the problem is that we usually reach our goals absent of the joy in our efforts to achieve them. (Read that again). That’s right…we crush our goals, but feel little to no sense of accomplishment (more or less). How depressing!
“I could have done that better.”
“I should have changed this or that.”
“I achieved it, but I was expecting to feel better about it than I do…I must have done something wrong.”
“What should I do next to prove that I’m strong?”
These are all things that us Type A people obsess about! Take a step back and really look at the goals that you are setting for yourself. Level set your mind. Are these goals that most average people in the world would be taking on? Probably not. I ran a full marathon – 26.2 miles. This is something that only .5% of the US Population can say they’ve done. You know what I did after I finished my marathon? I got down on myself because my time wasn’t what I wanted to be…then I quickly followed that negativity up with a Google search on “How many calories do you burn running a marathon”. Ridiculous, right?! <—Ugh….I don’t like that girl. Don’t be her.
Type A people usually set extremely hard goals. The hard part is learning to enjoy the ride to achievement. We don’t know how to relax! We don’t know how to pat ourselves on the back and say, “You really rocked that!”. We constantly break ourselves down, nit-picking every single thing we could have or should have done differently. The truth is that everything you did up until the point of achieving your goal was all that you had in you at that time. If you look back and call yourself weak for not being able to do more, then you’re doing yourself a disservice. At that point in your life, THAT was all you had to give…and that is OK. Accepting yourself at where you are is the only way to let yourself grow beyond that point. Acceptance is key.
The good news…the fact that you’re looking back on what you did to lead up to your goal is a step in the right direction. It means that you’ve grown through the process and are a stronger individual TODAY than you were then. You don’t grow stronger by the singular event of achieving a goal – you grow stronger through the preparation and training it takes to attain a goal. It’s the PROCESS that counts the most. The fact that you think you should have been able to give more just means that you have it in you TODAY to give more than you could then. Use that to fuel your next big goal. Celebrate the fact that you gained strength through the process and carry that momentum into other parts of your life.
Some of my biggest accomplishments in life were followed up with a bout of depression. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? But that’s just because of the personality I have. I did something great that I set out to do…but my mind tells me that I didn’t do it GOOD ENOUGH. Yuck! Who wants to live like that? We, as Type A people, need to learn to let go a little. We need to learn to not be so critical. We need to scale back our “extremes” when it comes to our intense personality traits. We actually live a very imbalanced life. We throw ourselves into our work, our families, our social lives, our hobbies, and every other thing we can possibly get our hands on! When you only have 100% to give, you can’t give 100% to 100 different areas of your life! We have a constant sense of urgency to always be pleasing everyone. Take some time for yourself and assess what YOU want to do and what you want to get out of it. Split up that 100% that you have to give into the different areas that you find important.
Most importantly, don’t let other people’s perceptions of you and the pressure they put on you determine what route you want to take in your journey of life. Be the leader in making your life what you want it to be. Strip yourself of people’s expectations and your soul will feel a little lighter. Learn to reflect on, breathe through, and smile about this beautiful life you’ve been given. Find yourself and let that inner light shine through. It will light up the positive areas of your life and drown out the negativity.