Being a “Fit Mom” Selfish? Or necessary?

Being a “Fit Mom”…for me – NECESSARY.

I see this all the time; controversy and negativity surrounding being a “fit mom”.  When a mom expresses her desire to ultimately Gain or REgain control of her fitness – there are usually 1 of 2 reactions from the outside world. There are the people rallying around her with support, or there are people offering up backhanded comments like, “Be sure to still make time for your family” or judgmental comments like, “Why would you want to live at the gym when you have kids?” etc. These are a couple comments that I personally have experienced throughout my fitness journey. I know I’m not alone, either. I absolutely take offense to these kinds of reactions. First of all – if you call an hour or 2 at the gym a day “living” at the gym, then I call your hour or 2 in front of the TV the same. Perspective.

One of my new year’s resolutions this year was to become a less judgmental person – towards myself and others. The more that I have worked towards this goal, the more I see how much time others spend judging people and their decisions. It’s toxic. The more time people spend judging and degrading others, the less time they have to spend learning to love themselves…which is where their focus needs to be.

Not that I feel I need to justify my decisions or lifestyle, but I want to lay it out there for some who may not understand and pass judgment on people like me. Anyone who truly knows me knows that being a mom is by far my life’s greatest purpose. I live to love and support my babies, and be the best positive role model for them as possible. I’ve taken the time to assess how I can be the best mom to my boys. It’s taken some soul searching and self-discovery, and in order for me to be the best Ashlee (whether that is defined by the best mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, etc.) I need to be strong in mind and body. I haven’t always been as strong minded and confident as I am today…and I still have my struggles. But – today I am a much stronger person than I ever have been. How have I achieved this? Personally, I take the time to hit the gym and make sure my nutrition is on point. Why? Because that is what makes me feel strong and healthy. And when I feel strong and healthy, I’m a much happier, positive, and more confident person. When I’m a happier, positive, and more confident person, I am a better mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, etc. See how this is snowballing?

Now, not everyone will follow the same path to happiness as me, and that is ok! But, this is my life and my journey. This is what it takes for me to be the best version of myself so that I can offer the best support to my family.

So – to anyone who wonders why “fit moms” spend time in the gym away from their family, or why they spend hours prepping healthy meals for the week on Sundays? I have an answer for you…this is how we take care of ourselves so that we can take the BEST care of others. Some may call this selfish. I beg to disagree. Is it selfish to love yourself? Is it selfish to make your happiness and well-being a priority? No. Absolutely not. Take care of YOU and your happiness– and you will see the positive radiation of this throughout all aspects of your life. Guaranteed.

Here is my advice and challenge to you – Let go of those judgments against others (and yourself), and begin the work that is needed to love and accept yourself. Make your health and happiness a priority through whatever route is necessary, and watch every facet of your life gradually improve. It’s not easy and may take a lifetime, but it’s worth the work it takes to love yourself. I promise. photo (2)


13 thoughts on “Being a “Fit Mom” Selfish? Or necessary?

  1. AMEN! This is exactly why I want to feel healthy again! For myself, for my family. I want to be happy and healthy for my babies and my husband, they will feel happier and healthier if I do! It’s so unfair to make comments like the two you mentioned. I feel like my lack of taking care of myself in the last 2 1/2 years has been the most “selfish” thing I’ve done! It’s time to get off my butt and get happy! 🙂 Thanks for all the inspiration and motivation ❤ And by the way, I've known part of the "old you", I've seen your transformation. It's been a long and trying process for you and you've never given up! You get better everyday and since you've had those babies you've been the MOST inspired and motivated to be happy and healthy as you've ever been. I know how much you care about them. I know. And you're right, you don't need to justify your decisions or lifestyle, everyone that matters knows exactly what it's done for you. 😉 Love you! GREAT post!

  2. Love the fact you are a fit mom!!! Being healthy and fit only helps to have a long life with your children (my beliefs). Question…are you a stay at home mom or do you have a job in addition to being a mom?

      1. That’s incredible and I put people like you in the highest esteem! Keep it up, cause you motivate the rest of us! 🙂

  3. I for one Ashlee, have always been so proud when I see a picture of you and get to say “that’s my cousin”. Not just because you are super hot mom with a super hot bod…you worked VERY HARD for every piece of that my love, and you deserve the positive attention that it should bring. If you only knew how the family really talked. Almost as if, I, should be jealous and at times….or most, I think they are LOL. It’s hilarious to me because I could not be more proud of who you are. Once this little girl who looked up to me, has become who I look up to…a beautiful wife, mother, and a fighter for the life they see for themselves, INSIDE and out. I know a few women who weren’t so brave… ; ) we took on what they feared, true happiness : ) I love you!!!!!!!

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