Where have I been?!

Some of you may be wondering where I’ve been….awfully quiet on the blog scene lately! I received a message recently from a girl I ran with in the San Diego Marathon. She mentioned that she was looking to get into bodybuilding and had some questions, also noting that she’s been following my fitness journey these past couple years and that I had inspired her. It reminded me of something. I forgot for a while how many people I was inspiring through sharing my struggles, successes, setbacks, and victories! I was fueling their fire and they were fueling mine by the successful strides and changes they were making in their own lives. I miss that.  I’ve NEEDED that. (Thank you, Justine) 🙂 I forgot how much joy I got out of sharing this “stuff” with all of YOU….hoping to maybe inspire just 1 person…give them that little nudge or “sign” they’ve been looking for that it’s time to get healthy and make some changes!

So, what the hell have I been doing these past few months? I can’t believe it’s been 3 months since my last blog. Well, let me tell you about a little guy named Eli who has also been nicknamed “The Sleep Thief”. My amazingly wonderful 6 month old baby boy has been such a blessing to our growing family. HOWEVER, little man thinks it’s party time between 11pm and 4am. YIKES. To say that I’m tired is such an understatement. I am literally running on fumes and I feel like a robot…just going through the motions every day, trying not to fall asleep. But enough complaining…I know I’m not alone in this issue. I’ve started a “Moms who have babies that don’t sleep” club and we exchange fun texts/Facebook messages at all hours of the night related to how tired we are. Just kidding…but I should probably start that up soon. I have a feeling A LOT of mamas out there can relate.

The Sleep Thief
The Sleep Theif

Good thing he is so cute….

So- where has this left my fitness and my goals? Well – I will admit that I have not been crushing it like I normally would be. Sleep deprivation plus stress at work…the combination has really gotten the best of me these past few months. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t stopped or lost sight of my goals…not in the slightest bit. And, lucky for me, I have a coach who is HAPPY to call me out when I’m being a slacker or losing my fire. Very thankful for that! While I haven’t been on my A game as of late – I have still been making great progress. My focus right now is gains. I’m not trying to return to stick skinny Ash…I didn’t really like her very much anyway. What I AM trying to do is put some muscle on this body in preparation for Worlds in 2015. With my first competition, I took my body through a process it had never been through…to a body fat percentage it had never experienced…and all within a pretty short amount of time. It was an amazing learning experience for me. I learned a tremendous amount about what foods I needed to eat to fuel my workouts, and how to structure my macros to drop the body fat to show off the muscle I was building.

THIS time around – even after a pregnancy that left me limited in what workouts I could do – my muscle memory has been phenomenal. The body really is fascinating. I have bounced back quicker than I ever thought. I am feeling just as strong at the BEGINNING of this prep as I was at the END of my last prep. That gets this little mama excited! While the scale still reflects a higher number than my pre-pregnancy number – I’m not worried. (Yes you read that right…I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE DAMN NUMBER!!) Why am I not worried? Because I am getting stronger and making gains right now…the rest will fall into place once the diet is nailed down. Since I’ve been through this before – I have a better idea of what to expect. Not only that…but I know what it takes to be successful. The process is a lot less scary to me this time around. And – as a reminder (to me and you) the scale gives NO representation of any real progress…physically or mentally…

Weighing scale

Thanks to those who have held me accountable in my goals. Though I’ve been exhausted, you’ve reminded me that this is something I want – and that I have to push through. So, thank you for that. I will keep pushing (and taking naps when I can).

Here I am 6 months post baby, and ready to kick it into high gear!

photo (19)IMG_6624

In closing – if anyone has some magic sleep dust that I can borrow, or knows of a baby sleep whisperer…you know where to send them.


2 thoughts on “Where have I been?!

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